I’ve been following Rainer Wylde for a while and these quotes hit.
Starting out, I just wanted what we all want — a book contract. I suppose it was a bit of Indiana Jones’ conversation with Shorty in The Temple of Doom. The reason for the pursuit? “Fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory.”
I came from a family of alcoholics. Many of you can unfortunately say the same thing. I don’t have to get into the traumas or the fears that I grew up with, because I think you all have a grasp on what kind of life that was. But early on, I determined that I was going to be different. And I just didn’t want to be different; I wanted to be the best. I wanted to rise up out of those ashes and make something of myself. Now as I look back, I wonder if I didn’t want to succeed on my loved one’s behalf as well . . . because I was so frustrated with the lack of progress.
My mother was always the butt of jokes at parties (and I was at a lot of drunken parties as a child) so I think deep down I wanted to be seen as smart. It took me 30 years to realize that particular motivation in myself. I came to it at a Captivating Conference led by Stasi Eldredge (she endorsed my first book, by the way — it’s on my cover, woohoo!).
When the different layers and masks were pulled way, a burden lifted. And a strange thing happened — I still loved writing and I could even write more freely. Even though one of my driving forces may have been because of trauma, my writing dreams only expanded as I became more free.
We all want to be seen and known. We all want to be special. We want to make a difference and we want to know our life is worth something. We want people to see us for who we really are. By looking at our pages, we want someone to recognize our soul and say, “I know you. I am the same. I have been waiting so long for someone to put this into words.”
Writing is amazing because it can accomplish all those things.
Writing is also amazing because it teaches us that we are already all those things right now.
Writing and life are a tapestry. Often all we can see is the tattered and tangled back. But we have to have faith that something beautiful is being woven together. And the more we work on our pages (and ourselves) the beautiful landscape will come into view.
Community helps. True writing friends will keep you alive. Actually getting a book out into the world is a bit like Frodo’s journey to destroy the ring. There is no way he could have done it without his tribe. And we all need that one person too — our Sam.
I am also reminded of some of Stasi Eldredge’s other words. She once said, “Each morning I wake up an unbeliever. I have to decide to be a believer again.”
This is also true for writers, and giving yourself grace in this area will set you free. We get tired. We go through disappointments.
You are not always going to feel like being a writer. That’s okay. And often we won’t feel like we have much to offer. That’s okay too . . . and normal.
Sometimes we just have to just get up and choose to be a believer once again.
With you in the trenches,
Brandy